First Marriage Then Love 《先婚厚爱》Chapter 85 Translation

085. Let’s fall in love



In the kitchen, An Ran had specially made a cup of coffee, and out of habit she puts in a lot of sugar. She brings the coffee into the studio. She pushes the door open, and Su Yi Cheng was sitting behind the mahogany desk concentrating on the documents in his hands.

“Knock knock knock.” An Ran raps on the door.

Su Yi Cheng raises his head. He was wearing gold glasses which made him even more studious than his usual self, however the smile that he wore was still as warm as usual. He softly smiles at her and looks at her, and says, “Come in.”

An Ran smiles and enters, hands over the cup of coffee to him, “You’ve been looking at it for a while now, drink a cup of coffee first.” He seemed to be quite busy tonight. After washing up he ate a simple meal, then went directly into the studio.

Su Yi Cheng reaches out and takes the coffee from her, carries it down and takes a small sip from it. It was what he liked, bitter and sweet. He can’t tell what flavour this coffee was, but it was a praiseworthy drink. He then places it down, and goes back to pick up the document on his desk.

An Ran looks at the files on his desk. All of them were documents of some sort, suggestions, proposals, resolution stuff. Looking at all these densely packed words, she couldn’t help but feel a headache coming in.

“Is the job tough?” She doesn’t know if he had a problem come up with work. Tonight she felt that he was a little bit off.

Hearing that, Su Yi Cheng raises his head to look at her, raises his brows, apparently asking why she thought so.

An Ran seemed to understand the question from his expression. She looks at him, and points to his face, and half-jokingly says, “It’s written on your face, telling people that you’re not happy.”

Su Yi Cheng chuckles, reaches out to her, and says, “Come here.”

An Ran doesn’t know what he wants to do, but still listens and walks around the desk, going over to him. She reaches out to him, connecting with his large palms.

Holding onto her hands, Su Yi Cheng uses his strength to let her turn around and tumble onto his lap. He wraps his arms around her stomach, and places his chin on her shoulders. He indifferently says, “You want to know?”

An Ran nods, turns to look at him, “I might not understand much, but I still want to help share your burden.”

Su Yi Cheng looks at her, stares into her eyes, then moves slightly forward, and gives a light peck on her lips. He looks at her in seriousness and says, “An Ran, can you tell me the truth?”

“En?” An Ran looks at him in confusion, not quite understanding what he was suggesting.

Su Yi Cheng chuckles, and says, “Originally the meeting was supposed to go on until night, but because of some reasons it was pushed back until tomorrow morning. When I was on my way home I met the rainstorm. I was thinking that you might have been trapped in your building because of the rain as well, so I turned the car around and went over to your company.”

An Ran was stunned. She looks at him, a bit embarrassed, because of her lie earlier. She did it because she didn’t want him to think too much of it, even though she knew he wouldn’t, but to bring up her ex to her husband, made her feel a bit weird, so she avoided it by telling a white lie. But she didn’t expect that it would cause him to misunderstand. “You knew.”

Su Yi Cheng looks at her, doesn’t nod nor shake his head, and just says, “I just want to hear the truth from you.”

“I didn’t go to the supermarket. When you called me I was at the coffee shop with Mo Fei. We ran into each other after work. I didn’t want to tell you, because I didn’t want you to think too much about it.” An Ran says frankly.

Su Yi Cheng looks at her, reaches out to comb her long hair that trailed over her shoulders. He liked the way her hair trailed over her shoulders, but because of work she always tied up at the back of her head in a strict manner, always tempting him to pull that rubber band off. He faintly says, “I came right when Mo Fei’s car left and saw you in the seat.”

Hearing that, An Ran was apologetic, and quietly says, “Sorry.” The rain was very big, and she was feeling troubled by Mo Fei. Even though she was looking out the window, she didn’t notice him coming over at all.

Su Yi Cheng shakes his head, embraces her as she sits. He fiddles with her fingers, chin still resting on her shoulders, and gently says, “I do not mean to blame you, but I'm also unhappy that you choose to hide it from me. I know that actually we have progressed too quickly, from knowing each other to marriage to now, we've never had enough time to get to know each other better. We can only rely on tidbits from our daily life to do so and we must be more forthright and honest with each other.*”


(T/N: Copy pasta from Joe, lol.)

As he says that, Su Yi Cheng turns her around. He stares into her eyes, and earnestly says, “An Ran, you should be honest with me. I may mind a lot, because I must admit there isn’t a man who wouldn’t care about their own wife being alone with their first love. You can call me petty, jealous. Those are normal feelings, because all husbands care about their wife. But because you were afraid that I would mind and deliberately chose to hide it, that would make me unhappy, make me overthink, for that reason it would bother me even more, to the point where it didn’t matter who you went out with, but I'd be more bothered that you lied to me, even if that lie was well-intentioned, wanting to avoid offending my meaningless emotions.”

An Ran stares into his eyes, earnestly listened to him pouring out his innermost thoughts.

Seeing that she wasn’t speaking, Su Yi Cheng again earnestly asks, “An Ran, do you understand what I’m saying?”

An Ran looks at him. The corner of her mouth rises slightly, and purposely says, “I do, but I also don’t.”

Su Yi Cheng looks at her, and also smiles, “I’m trying to say that men are fickle, our minds are complicated, but you need to allow them to be capricious and difficult once in a while. After being capricious, he still would be rational. Said that way, is it a bit easier to understand?”

An Ran laughs. She sits in his lap, wraps her arms around his neck, and earnestly nods her head, “En. I understand that more than the one before.” He was trying to say that even though he will mind when she tells him she and Mo Fei had coffee together, but he was bothered even more that she was hiding it from him not wanting him to know. That is the capriciousness and stubbornness of a man he was talking about.

Su Yi Cheng laughs and pinches her nose, then rises to kiss her on the lip.

An Ran doesn’t refuse it, only wears a smile. She opens her mouth to cater to him, responding to him.

Her response excited Su Yi Cheng. He cups the back of her head, deepening the hot kiss between them.

By the time Su Yi Cheng released An Ran the two were gasping for breath. An Ran leaned against his chest. Her breathing was unstable, and the Su Yi Cheng that was holding her also seemed out of place, his stomach heaving up and down.

The two embrace for a while more. Leaning against his chest, An Ran can hear his heartbeat steadily returning to its undisturbed pace. She reaches out and tightens her hold on his slender waist, and slowly opens to say, “You, do you want to know the past of me and Mo Fei?”

The large palm that was lightly stroking An Ran’s back stops mid-air. A while later it slowly drops down. His low magnetic voice passes over An Ran’s head, “Do you want to talk about it?”

An Ran, in his embrace, nods her head lightly, “En. Today we went back to the coffee shop by campus. This whole time I thought that I was still hung over it, still can’t let go.” Saying that, An Ran shakes her head, chuckles, and continues, “Now I know, that all of it is truly in the past. I went to the coffee shop that we used to frequent, sat in the same place that we always used to sit in, ordered the coffee and milk tea that we used to always order, ate that familiar cake. But time has passed, that sweet and happy feeling that used to be there has already gone, become a complete stranger. Sitting opposite him again, I didn’t hate him, didn’t brood over the past. He just seemed like an ordinary stranger, such a stranger that even drinking a cup of tea, eating piece of cake in front of him felt really awkward and unnatural.

Su Yi Cheng doesn’t say anything, and calmly listens.

An Ran pauses for a while, and continues to speak, “We were classmates. There were very few female students majoring in architecture. It was a class of 30, but there were only 6 females students. Mo Fei’s grades were very good, and he was a hardworking student. He was from the mountains of Sichuan. His parents were humble farmers. He had an older brother and two younger sisters. In his village, there wasn’t even a 3-story building, the roads were made of mud, and cars only pass through the village every once in a while. The only way out was to study, to let knowledge change their destiny. Mo Fei was thirsty for success, and he finally came to our school as the first-rank student of his county. In fact, his grades could have got him to Peking or Tsinghua University*, but he ultimately chose our school, and that was because our school did not collect any tuition or miscellaneous fees from him during his 4-years of study.

“The only thing that allowed our lives to intersect each other was through Lin Li’s and Cheng Xiang’s relationship, because Cheng Xiang and Mo Fei were roommates, while Lin Li and I were roommates. Actually he wasn’t a very romantic person, he wouldn’t say sweet words and wasn’t the type to buy flowers. When he confessed to me, it was also done in a direct manner. He dropped me off to my dorm and confessed that he liked me. When I was still caught off-guard he snatched my first kiss, then laughed and rubbed my head, explaining that he would buy me breakfast tomorrow morning.” Saying that, An Ran faintly smiled, as if she really had gone back to those times, that young and inexperienced age. “The next day he really did wait for me downstairs, in his hands was a steamed bun and soy milk from the cafeteria. We had that kind of vague beginning. There wasn’t any romantic flowers, no sweet words of love. Everything about the beginning was just ordinary, nothing novel. I knew that his economic situation wasn’t good, so our dates were always very simple. At first we didn’t go to restaurants, we even didn’t go watch movies. We always did things simply like eat at the school cafeteria, then after eating we would go take a walk around the school field. Sometimes we would go to the small forest, holding hands and walk past each tree, sometimes we would also hold hands and walk past an obscure lake. The most common subject we talked about was about school. Mo Fei was a person with dreams and ambitions. Even back then I knew that he longed for success, an incomparable longing, the only thing he lacked was the opportunity, the luck.

“Our dating life was very smooth, there was no romance, and nothing deep and entrenched, but rather it was a steady flow, warm and gradual. It might have something to do with our disposition. It seemed as if it was dull and without passion, but we were very attentive to each other, really cherished and protected each other.” An Ran spoke very gently, very weakly, as if she were talking about another person’s story, and she was merely a spectator.

“You speak so highly of him, aren’t you afraid that I’ll get jealous?” Su Yi Cheng whispers into her ears, his tone quite earnest, not at all joking.

An Ran smiles softly, not answering his question. She continues, “We went through 3 years of university like that. Finally, one year, because of our respective internship we didn’t get to see each other much. The companies that we worked for was on opposite sides of the city. It would take about an hour to get from my company to his. It was also because of the distance, that the number of times we saw each other got fewer and fewer. We always said that we would definitely see each other, and it wasn’t because he had taken over a new case, but because I had taken over some work and was busy, because it was an internship, because I wanted to stay even after the internship, during that short period we really worked hard, that even on weekends when we should rest, was used to work overtime. But we would call each other every night. He was a boyfriend, no matter how busy or late he was, he would still always call me after he was done. Because we didn’t see each other much, and work was busy, he would still give me a call, no matter if work was difficult that day, he still wanted to hear my voice. Oftentimes when we talked there wouldn’t be any sounds from his side, and that was because he was so tired that he had fallen asleep. He assured me that he would succeed, say that he would give me a grand wedding, let me feel like the most beautiful and happiest bride in the world, and said that he would give me a really big diamond ring, then book Jiang City’s tallest restaurant, and propose to me there. Only all of these were attainable if I waited for him to succeed, he said, after he succeeded he would honour every promise he’d made with me. At that time I had cried, and laughed and cried. Holding the phone, I cried as I nodded. Even though I knew that he couldn’t see me nod my head, but the me at that moment, besides weeping and nodding I couldn’t say anything else. But he knew what my reaction was over the phone, so he only smiled foolishly as he held the phone.”

“We went through our 4th year of university like that. With great effort, we finished our internship smoothly and stayed at the company as new hires. That year, even though we called each other everyday, knew everything little thing about each other, but the number of times that we met could be counted on one hand, and every time it would be pushed back. He had been struggling with his designs, and I also had to be ready to go to the construction site at any moment. I thought, that even though we didn’t see each other much for one year, but our feelings towards each other had grown the quickest in this period. We understood each other better than before, it can even be said that compared to before, our affections were even better. Just when I had come to that realization, I didn’t even know that something else was happening. Sometimes I would hear news about him from others, saying that he was often with a female student at the cafeteria, the two were holding hands, their faces always wearing a smile, their relationship seemed sweet. I naturally never believed them, thought that the person they talked about wasn’t the person who continued to call me every night for half an hour, talk about the interesting things that happened at work that day. He even said that he had taken up a big case, the company’s director appreciated his work, he said that he felt that he was getting closer to succeeding. He said if things went smoothly, he could fulfill every promise he gave to me within two years.. But lies are lies. The prettier it is the more it hurts. I didn’t believe those that told me that he had changed his heart and was a cheater, every single time I would convince myself to believe him, because I had been with him for 3 years, I was the person who understood him best. But all of that I had seen with my own eyes, that day, I…..” An Ran choked up, tears had unknowingly streamed down her face.

Su Yi Cheng releases her, stares at her. He reaches out to wipe the tears streaming down her face, and faintly says, “If it’s hard, if those memories make you unhappy, then you don’t have to force yourself. I know that you have already let go.” He doesn’t want to force her, even though he was very curious if she would tell him herself, but if she was finding it difficult, he doesn’t want to make her unhappy.

An Ran smiles at him, and wipes off her own tears, at the same time she shakes her head and continues, “That day the company invited me to attend an evening party. I didn’t expect to run into him at that party. He had a pretty girl in his arms that night, they were very well-matched, and that night, they were undoubtedly the highlight of everyone’s attention. People had surrounded them, and I was standing no more than 5 meters behind him. He hadn’t even discovered, that I was watching him gazing warmly at the woman by his side, attentively feeding her, pampering her and lovingly pinching her nose. It was laughable that I even let him give me an excuse, assuring me that she was only a dance partner, she was just a colleague. It was only after that I realized how ridiculous that excuse was, because I was standing behind them, I heard from the woman’s mouth, when she was introducing him she would always smile and glance at him first, then happily tell them he was her boyfriend. Hehe, tell me, wasn’t I so ridiculously pathetic?” Recalling all of the memories, An Ran laughed at herself.

“An Ran….” Su Yi Cheng looks at her. He seemed reluctant, and also worried. “Let’s not talk about it anymore, I got it.” Those memories, thinking of them again, would hurt even more. That kind of feeling he understood. It wasn’t that you couldn’t let go, not that you are still holding onto the hope with that man or woman, but rather with those kinds of memories, because you are reviving the course of betrayal and energy for the first time, the most painful scar is still there.

An Ran stubbornly shakes her head, says, “I’m fine. Let me finish. When I’m done, I will truly put it down.”

Su Yi Cheng looks at her, doesn’t say anything.

“That night, I took advantage of the opportunity when he went to the washroom and waited outside the door. When he saw me it was evident that he was surprised, but he quickly came up with a reaction. I still remember his expression, it was guilt. He turned his head and didn’t look at me, and from his expression I already knew the answer. We didn’t say anything. I passed him, and perhaps because he felt sorry for me, he grabbed my hand, held it tightly. I could feel that his grip was very strong, as if he really didn’t want to let me walk away, but then the girl came out, smiled at him and walked over to him. The split second he saw her, he quickly let go of my hand, then smiled at that woman, his tone, expression were not without smile. Then one week after the banquet, he finally called me again, and asked me to meet him at that coffee shop by the school that we loved to visit when we were students. Then he told me that we were breaking up. One week later, the him who sat across from me seemed like a stranger. When he was done I was silent for a long time. I opened my mouth, asking why. Right. At that time I couldn’t comprehend, didn’t understand how one person could change that quickly. Just yesterday he was still the man who sweetly called me every night, can hug strangers right away. Clearly just a few days ago he told me that he would give a majestic wedding, buy me the largest ring, let me feel like the most beautiful, happiest bride in the world. Why, in just a few days, could he break up with me so easily. I asked for a reason. He was silent. We just sat there. The hot coffee was already cold, and from start to end he didn’t even open his mouth. He just pursed his lips. In short, he wasn’t willing to say any more. His silence thoroughly disappointed me. I didn’t force him, got up to leave, only to hear him say, sorry, I’m going to America next week. I didn’t turn back, and just left the coffee shop.” As An Ran was speaking, she smiled at him. She still had traces of tears on her face.

Su Yi Cheng, hurting for her, embraces her. He doesn’t know what he should say, so he could only soothingly pat her back.

An Ran leans against him. She wraps her arm around his waist, her ears pasted on the area closest to his heart. Then she starts to say, to finish the story, “On the day that he left, I sat at the coffee shop for the entire day. From morning til night, until Lin Li had found me just before the coffee shop closed for the night. She saw me, and embraced me. She cried louder than I did, was more upset than I was. She was crying as she was swearing at him and calling him inhumane. And Cheng Xiang was standing outside. Half an hour had passed, Lin Li finally stopped crying, and Cheng Xiang at that moment delivered a letter from Mo Fei that he had set aside for me before he left. Actually the content of the letter was very simple, only had 7 words, but every written word I could see the strength put into it. ‘Wait for me, I will succeed!’” An Ran let out a long sigh, appearing as if something had finally been laid down. She felt incomparably light, and said, “And that was everything between me and Mo Fei.”

Su Yi Cheng nods, stroking her back. Her past was more complicated than he had previously thought. He doesn’t know what he should do for her now, and if simply hugging her tightly like this is the best way.

An Ran withdraws from his embrace, stares at him in the eyes. Then she starts to smile, although her face was still streaked with tears.

Su Yi Cheng felt sorry for her and strokes her face, erasing the tears on her face. He doesn’t say anything, then cups her face, and leaves kisses on each trail of tears, lots and lots, following the stains that had not yet dried up, kissing every trace of them. Then he kisses her eyes, and An Ran gently shuts her eyes, allowing him to leave a kiss on her eye, eyebrow, every nook of her eye. Finally he kisses her on the lip, gently, then slowly advances his tongue, gently prying her mouth open, inviting her to dance with him. The gentle kiss slowly deepens, gradually the fantasy reaches to the pinnacle of lingering.

The passion came so quickly, that they didn’t even have enough time to go to their room. The two embraced each other tightly, kissing, apparently they had been bewildered. It was unclear who was tearing off whose clothes, unsure who was the one who had spilled out that first moan. The temperature in the room had risen up quickly, burning the two. Each of them tightly embracing, as if this was the only way to embrace, so that it could drive away all the hidden loneliness and emptiness in their hearts, apparently only this way, can it erase the deepest, hidden shadows in the corners of their heart.

The cup of excessively sweet coffee that An Ran had specially brewed was thrown from the table by their wide movements. The manufacture of the cup really wasn’t that bad, falling from that height, yet it still hadn’t shattered. It only rolled around a few times until it was stopped by the corner of a wall. Only, the brown-black liquid had covered the wooden floor.

The files on the table had been tossed aside. Su Yi Cheng carries An Ran so she could lie down on the tidied table. He stares into her eyes, the corner of his mouth hooks up into this charming smile, then takes off the clothes on the other’s body. Finally he reaches out to cup her chin, forcing An Ran to look at him in the eye. Then he moves forward, pressing down on her body.

Unknown of how much time had passed, the studio was flooded with the scent of love. Under the foot of the desk, a man’s dress shirt, a woman’s undergarment was thrown aside. To the left of the desk, even the documents were not spared, as it laid on the ground.

On the desk, An Ran, red-faced, has her back toward Su Yi Cheng as they lay down. There wasn’t a trace of clothing on either of the person’s bodies, and only now did An Ran start to repent. She couldn’t help but be frightened by her own brazenness. Heavens! Look at what she did, suddenly with him in the studio, and even doing it on the desk…… This, how can she have the face to do her designs on that desk again, finish the unfinished work from the company!

Su Yi Cheng shifts his body to face behind her, a huge grin on his face, his hand softly stroking up and down her body. He watches as her body instinctively trembles, and the grin on his face becomes wider. His hands become even more mischievous.

An Ran got annoyed by his actions, but was too embarrassed to turn around. She reaches out to slap his hand, the hand that was lighting a fire on her body.

Su Yi Cheng laughs, even the corner of his eyes had a smile. He hugs her from behind, with a bit of strength, brings her closer to his chest. His stomach sticks closely to her back, and he softly whispers into her ears, “An Ran.”

An Ran doesn’t say anything, because his hug right now, made her chest beat even harder. She was a little gloomy, because clearly just now she was telling him about the relationship between her and Mo Fei, but, how did things end up this way! She couldn’t recall who was the one to started it, who first took the initiative!

“An Ran.” Su Yi Cheng gently calls her again. His tone carried a smile, the kind of good feeling after being satisfied.

“En.” An Ran softly responds, faintly, faintly discernable. She never thought that she was this brazen, this sexually open!

Su Yi Cheng hugs her a bit tighter. Both their bodies were inseparably close, and again softly speaks into her ears, “An Ran~” This time, he draws out the last syllable, as if pondering.

“En.” Just then her voice was too soft, so she thought he didn’t hear, thus An Ran answers again.

Su Yi Cheng just smiles, hugs her even tighter, both legs curling, and the two looked like they were a pair of spoons.

“An Ran.” Su Yi Cheng was acting like he was trying out a flavour, once again calling out in a soft voice.

This time An Ran presumed that he did indeed hear her, and he was just calling out her name for fun, and he did not actually have anything to say. Because she was still repenting over her earlier urge, An Ran turns over her head in annoyance, looks at him, and with her eyes wide open she says, “Su Yi Cheng, if you have something to say, say it, don’t just call out my name!”

Looking at her angry appearance, Su Yi Cheng only felt that it was super cute, he laughs instead, looks at her wide eyes, and that slight pout, made his heart skip. He leans over to kiss her on the lips.

“Su Yi Cheng!” An Ran pushes him angrily, her hand on his chest allowed her to put some distance with him, because he clearly did not just want a kiss! His hand was clearly meddling around her body, and that certain part of his lower body started to hatefully change!

Su Yi Cheng doesn’t get angry. He looks at her and laughs even more joyously, with one pull he has her in his embrace again, this time his hands doesn’t meddle, just holds her tightly. He stares into her eyes, and says in earnest, “An Ran, let’s fall in love.”

The somewhat struggling An Ran, suddenly stops her movement, and stares at him astonished. Apparently! A little! Very! She wasn’t sure what she just heard, so she asks puzzled, “You…. What did you just say?”

Su Yi Cheng holds back his smile, and solemnly and seriously looks at her, reaches out to grasp her hand, and with great earnest he says once again, “An Ran, let’s fall in love!”


---END OF CHAPTER---

Chapter 86

Sorry for taking so long! I felt like An Ran looking at Su Yi Cheng's stuff with this chapter lol. Hope this chapter satisfied you guys (as opposed to the last chapter hahah). As usual, big thanks to Joe for helping me out :)